First of all, if you just experienced an episode of premature ejaculation for the first time in your life, you might want to just skip this article. The causes of premature ejaculation are many and varied, and sometimes in his life, a man will fall prey to one or another of them. In other words, premature ejaculation, even in a healthy male, is not that unusual or uncommon.
However, if you are regularly experiencing this affliction, and some have been experiencing it for years, knowing the causes of premature ejaculation may possibly be the first step to affecting a cure for premature ejaculation.
It may help to know that you are not alone! It has been estimated that 20% of males between the ages of 18 and 59 are regularly afflicted with the problem.
So, what causes premature ejaculation in otherwise apparently healthy males in the prime of their sexual lives? Do they have some strange virus or incurable disease, or are they just nuts?
Well, research does show that the root causes of premature ejaculation are usually psychological, but that does not mean you are nuts, nor that only a shrink can cure you. In fact, so much IS known about the subject that there are many techniques and plenty of advice available for a little practical self-help.
Apparently, premature ejaculation is primarily the result of a fear of sexual failure. This is very often linked to erectile dysfunction, which is also often treatable either through medications such as Viagra or Cialis, or through improvements in physical or emotional condition.
Slightly complicating any discussion of the causes of premature ejaculation is the fact that “premature” is a hazy concept, and any orgasm or ejaculation can be termed “premature” if it occurs before the two parties (usually two, but one never knows these days) want it to. There is no concrete medical standard for a time limit that distinguishes a “premature” ejaculation from…well, a mature one, I guess!
However, premature usually means that both parties are disappointed with the result. Of course, this can be complicated by the fact that women take longer to achieve full sexual arousal and the female orgasm can often occur long after even a non-premature ejaculating male has given up and fired his only shot. It is easy in this situation for a man to take what may be a relatively small problem and make it bigger (poor choice of words). This is an example of one way in which a certain amount of easily treatable difficulty can begin to loom large in the mind of the man, thereby encouraging the condition to get worse.
So, while the sexual partner may not be the cause of premature ejaculation, the sexual partner can be a definite help in constructing a “cure” for premature ejaculation. Understanding and encouragement on their part, coupled with a willingness to be an active participant in the therapy, which can be fun for both, can help make or break the effort for improvement, just as a real or imagined negative reaction to a real instance of premature ejaculation can increase the problem.
However, since the problem could conceivably occur during a solo masturbation session, we still need to find the causes of premature ejaculation and some cures for premature ejaculation.
One piece of evidence that doctors use to determine the possible causes of premature ejaculation is whether it is what is termed “primary” or “secondary”. Primary means that the problem has existed during the sexually active life of the man, and secondary means that it has begun to occur after a period of relatively normal sexual activity.
As stated earlier, causes of premature ejaculation are often psychological in nature:
1. Early childhood experiences which provoked fear of discovery during masturbation, for example might still be causing trouble.
2. Encountering a particularly negative family attitude towards sex during your childhood may cause you to “rush” to complete sexual activity because you feel it is “dirty” or not permitted.
3. Impotence, while itself often a treatable physical condition, may create a feeling of need to “get it done” before you lose your erection.
4. Problems and worries about health, money, relationships, or any sort of stress in your life, may trigger an event or series of events.
5. As hinted at above, negative reactions from a sexual partner can also precipitate the problem in what would otherwise be a normally happy, sexually fulfilled male.
As can be imagined, once the event has occurred, it is not unrealistic to imagine it becoming so focused upon by the man that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, no matter what its cause or its intensity or frequency.
The other main causes of premature ejaculation are certain medications, but these are rare.
Bad news: It’s in your head!
Good news: It’s treatable!
Okay, after reviewing the list of possible causes above, it becomes obvious that you can possibly deal with the problem yourself. After all, it’s not like you need surgery or are going to die from it. In fact the major medical problems associated with premature ejaculation are that it may be related to a more serious condition or it may have an impact on fertility. Other than that, the damage is mainly done to your ego, and your relationship with your sexual partner.
If some negative experience has had an impact on your sexual performance, finding that and facing it may be all that is needed. If you are experiencing impotence, getting that treated may help the problem. If you have a high level of stress, dealing with those problems or taking up some sort of relaxation process such as meditation might do the trick. There are many references available online or even in your public library which can help you make a well informed decision as to your personal causes of premature ejaculation and the possible means of changing the situation.
On the other hand, it may be too complicated for you to handle yourself, or may involve medical conditions which need to be dealt with at a professional level.
Whether your choice for professional help is your family doctor, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, read the list again and realize that you may be asked to divulge some very sensitive information about all your sexual experiences, your home life as a child and as an adult, your relationships with your parents and other family members, your health…the list goes on. The professionals will need you to honestly and completely divulge all such information, so be prepared before you go in to see them.
In fact, don’t just be mentally and emotionally prepared to “get it done”. Instead, delve deeply into your history, thoughts, and feelings before the visit for forgotten events, experiences, and feelings which may be relevant. We have all been asked by a doctor in less trying situations if there was anything wrong and replied that all was fine or gave a small list of problems, only to think of several more once we had left the office. For a doctor or other professional to assist you, you will have to have as much information available as possible for them to assess and work with.
As pointed out previously, the willing and understanding assistance of your sexual partner can be invaluable in anything that is done in hope of creating a cure for premature ejaculation.
The causes of premature ejaculation can be varied and intertwined. If you cannot figure it out or solve it by yourself and/or with the help of your sexual partner, there are certain techniques and medications which can help. some of these techniques can be learned from the many available reference materials or through a little judicious research on the Internet. Medical intervention will, of course, require a doctor’s assistance.